My Heart, Christ's Home

When I named this blog, I decided on "heart and home" because those are two very important things to me as a christian woman. Over the last several weeks, I have been reflecting upon the choices I have made in the past few months. In October, we moved to Kit Carson, Co. Mid November, I was offered a part time job at a daycare outside of town. I was then asked to become full time, with the package deal of my own classroom and benefits. I got sucked in really fast and life just got out of control. I was sure I had made the right decision in offering to help my husband bring in extra money. I have felt convicted about the jobs I am doing right now, and what my duties should be, AND what I enjoy doing! My job quickly became futile. After childcare prices (we get no discount and prices went up since I began working there), gas to get to work daily (25 miles each way) and insurance coming out, we realized I'm really not making much money at all. I began to look around at my home, my husband and children, my responsibilities at church,  my current enrollment in a college class and my ambitions and realized that there is no place for this job in my life. OR reason for it. My kids don't learn anything there, they've been getting sick a lot, and I always leave my job stressed and extremely tired. Add to that the fact that Dave and I have opposite schedules. Oh and the fun behavior issues that have arisen in the kids.

Really, the worst thing about being employed full time, outside of home, is that it has taken me away from the reason we moved here. We moved here to get involved in our church, help grow and expand the ministry and reach souls for Christ. Being so busy and stressed has really taken a toll on my relationship with Christ. There is no job that pays enough to be worth neglecting time with Christ. I've found that the few mornings that I have cried out to the Lord (usually while driving to work), He touches my heart and I am overwhelmed with guilt and sadness. I so treasure the closeness I have often had with the Lord, and I can't believe I let it take a back seat in my life. NO MORE!

I have decided, after much prayer and advice from people we look up to, Dave and I decided that I should quit my job and stay home. I won't just be caring for our children (when they are here), Dave, our home, our dogs, but also going to college full time online for my Early Childhood Education Associates. I am also going to try to watch a few children in my home. I am so excited for my first day as a housewife! I have so many plans and goals. The main thing I want to do, right away, is make a place just for me. I want to pray A LOT, sing, read my Bible, write in my journal, and just clear the air so I can hear from the Lord. I know that the Lord can hear me no matter where I am, but it just seems life a special and comfortable way to set aside everything to be alone with the Lord. There also many ideas and activities that the Lord has brought to my mind for our church, and I dismissed them because I didn't have the time and I was too stressed. Yes I'll be busy with college, but that is something I enjoy, as long as I have SOME time for it.

There are scores of other things I would love to do and I will eventually make it to that place. I am grateful to the Lord, since this was His idea! (he always has my best interest in mind). I am also so grateful for David, who is also excited to see me more often and have me at home to make our home a special and relaxing place. I have also been in prayer that I will make a good friend, who encourages me in my faith. Since we moved here, I have had a small obsession with facebook because there are not many women to become close friends with. I know that God provides and He alone knows all my needs.

Thanks to an influenza outbreak at school, I currently have a fever and a very sore throat. Regardless, I am so excited for what my (Dave's and the kid's) future holds!