Thank You Memories

Though it’s typically forbidden among us women, especially the married ones, some of us just can’t help but remember those old loves. Not necessarily men, but places and things. I suppose, I personally am suffering some kind of shock one would experience after shooting through space at the speed of light. The last few months have been so fast and chaotic that I haven’t had much time or space for reflection. I’ve always been impulsive, reckless, and one of those people who just have to learn from their mistakes. When I sit and think about it, the things I truly miss will forever stain my heart.

I miss the sound of crickets and neighborhood dogs out my window on a hot night in Chattanooga, Tn. I miss sitting on the porch at my house in Chattanooga, in the valley, listening to the neighborhood kids play and bass speakers beating. I miss the thick rain that I could nearly breathe in. I miss the smell of the black neighbor’s barbeque, knowing that they’d be bringing some my way. I miss Sunday drives through Soddy Daisy Tennessee, and looking at those mountains, knowing there must be a God. I miss the cheap thrills of sneaking into the Chattanooga Choo Choo Hotel pool with friends when Charlie Daniels was staying there.  I miss the rush of the wind through my open car window as I passed the Nashville/Knoxville sign last April. I miss sitting on the back porch at my sister’s Nashville house with baby Molly, listening to the frogs. I miss the noise of downtown Nashville on a Saturday night. I miss the desperate anxious feeling I had while driving home from Nashville, feeling truly alone, but determined. I miss the morning air of Virginia and driving through the Blue Ridge Mountains every day. I miss the smells of fall and the leaves that fell in front of my Grand Rapids, MI townhouse as I walked to my car every morning. I terribly miss lying in bed alone in my cozy loft, listening to Jon Mayer or Johnny Cash and watching the snow fall on a lazy Saturday. I miss the summer of 2009 when I lived with Nicole Taylor. I miss our occasional karaoke, backyard pool adventures and watching movies. I miss when we were much younger, riding horses and hanging out every other day, not caring that we were dorky homeschoolers. When it was ok to be young and the drama in our life was Degrassi, sleepovers with our ponies, (marrying toads) and the county fair. I miss the moist wet air of Virginia, Tennessee and Florida that made my hair curl and my face shiny. Never thought I’d miss all that.

I miss my dog Roman, my Siamese cats, Sabrina and Hosea and my horse Autumn. Although I don’t talk to them anymore, I miss my friends from previous jobs. If it wasn’t for their influence, I may not have come as far as I have and I am truly grateful.  I miss the silly people in my life like George Choponis, who at 56 years old had a deep love for Hannah Montana and shamelessly blasted it from his truck while driving through our small logging town. I miss covering my head with a pillow every night when he blasted Hannah Montana: The Movie, in the living room. LOL. I miss Allison Degroot, Amanda Stuk and Brooke Vanhouten from Apple Tree who were there to make me laugh and listen to me whenever I needed. The girls who shared my love for children and the humors that came with our preschool job. I miss going to Zumba with Brooke and Allison and laughing our butts off about people who farted during stretches. Oh and Allison's "focused" face.I miss living next door to Kate Simons and sharing the "Lost" series. I miss working with Heather Maclellan Richmond, Britney Bennett and Lizzy Duff at Siskin. I miss Siskin itself, being as it was my favorite job.

Though I’ve been many places, and had multiple self-inflicted broken hearts, there are just some things that have stuck with me. Deep loves, that often times we have to say goodbye to. Sometimes it’s a safe place to close your eyes and go back to when you need a place to land for a minute. Thank you past people, places, things, jobs and pets. You are missed. But you helped shape who I am today.

Elizabeth